Cancer. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear this word? Probably not the most positive thoughts, no? My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in February. Cancer in her milk duct. Yes, milk duct. The thing that gave me and my sisters health, nutrition, and life. I always heard of women with breast cancer, knew women and families affected by breast cancer, and participated in those Susan B. Komen "Race for the Cure" runs, but never did I think that breast cancer would directly affect my own flesh and blood. Naive? Yes. Sheltered? Yes. Brought back to reality? Definitely.My mom's doctor was able to remove the somewhat small cancerous area, including a couple of cancerous lymphnodes; however, she must still undergo approximately a year's worth of chemotherapy. Her chemo treatments begin this Monday, March 5. This day is also my mom's birthday. An inappropriate time to be receiving your first chemotherapy treatment, in my opinion, but when is the appropriate time, anyway? The sooner the better, no matter what.
It is a surreal feeling for me when I think about my mom having breast cancer. A stormy mix of emotions that only result in pessimistic thoughts. All of the "what ifs" that plague my mind and then I have to remind myself to stop being so selfish. It isn't about me. It is about my mother. It is about my father, too, who will be taking care of her as she endures her chemo treatments. My mom has a contagious, uplifting spirit and once she accepted the fact that she had breast cancer, has been nothing but optimistic with her "let's get this chemo treatment started...the sooner it starts, the sooner it'll be done," attitude. Amazing. I think that is why it has been a tough pill for me to swallow. A mother who put herself and her needs after all of ours (like millions of other matriarchs), and for myself, unsure of the unknown, having faith that every challenge from here on out will be tackled successfully.
I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing such a personal and emotional story. I wish you and your family the best. Your line, "The thing that gave me and my sisters health, nutrition, and life" brought tears to my eyes. My brother has a brain tumor and my father has had cancer. I sympathize. When my brother had radiation, as a family we prepared gifts for each day of his treatments (letters, drawings by nieces/nephews, a gift card for a favorite store, etc.). He really appreciated those gifts as they gave him something to look forward to. Just sharing in case the idea is useful. Your mom sounds like a strong woman!
ReplyDeleteThank you for trusting us enough to share this. Clearly your mom is remarkable -- her attitude is amazing. My guess is her daughter has a little bit of her tenacity too.
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I hope you can feel that arms are reaching out to you to hug you and your mom in comfort and support. I hear strength in your voice. We are here and we are listening (or should I say reading). Stay strong and all my best wishes are being sent to your mom Monday.
ReplyDeleteAs the daughter of a breast cancer survivor (I'm in my 40s...mom was diagnosed when I was in 8th grade), I want to wish your mother (and you!) well. Her attitude it just like I remember my mom's was. Like elsie says, we're here to listen.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much hope today for those with breast cancer. That may not help your feelings now, but the hope is there, from me with several 'survivor' friends. I hear that you want to give your mother support, but really this is also about you and your family too. Don't feel guilty that you think about your needs too; it might help your mother to focus on others a while as she undergoes the treatments. I am wishing you my best thoughts and prayers to be able to be with your mother and to your mother also. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you sliced. The beauty of your words, the craft of questions and one woerd answers, swept me away. You have honored your mother with this post. I agree witht he comments above - thank you for sharing your story. We are here to encourage.
ReplyDeleteI find it so difficult to write about such strong emotions while I am in the midst of them. Your bravery is inspiring. I love the opening where you connect the way your mother's body nursed you and your sisters to what her body is doing to her now. Your words have an underlying strength to them. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou're going through a lot right now with your family, and you're still slicing with us. You are a strong person. I don't know if I could do what you're doing. I'm hoping the goodness of writing will comfort you, and you will continue to write. Take care of yourself, too. Glad to have you aboard.
ReplyDeleteEach of you continue to make me feel to uplifted! I have returned to your comments many times today. Sharing with all of you has been the best thing I could have done. Your encouragement, compassion, and empathy has allowed me to exhale. All of you are so beautiful. Thank you :)
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