Consumed.

I watch you come and go
wondering what's on your mind
a quick glance to see if it's me

Heart strings pulled
like a master puppeteer
I jump, I fly, I'd say goodbye

My mind is consumed
interference
that's you

Wrong time
wrong place
but I need more

A growing addiction
no doc can cure
the remedy I already know

Thoughts, ideas
circulate around you
permanence, no matter what I do

One second
two minutes
three hours, too much

A yearning so deep
felt in my chest
and everywhere else

I'll continue on
facing the truth
of reality.

The Preschool App.

Your first kiss. The passing of a loved one. Leaving home for college. Committing to marriage. Giving birth. These are some of the things that I consider "life-changing" moments. Moments that are not only life-changing, but are also generators of immense stress. WRONG! There is no event in your life that can compare to the stress of filling out your (first-born) child's preschool application... especially when you are a teacher! Here are the top 10 list of questions running through my mind as I fill out the piece of paper that could potentially determine whether my child is headed to Harvard or The Hills...

10. Do I describe my child's personality as "fun-loving" or "fun-loving as long as there is a nap involved"?

9. Is "Peek-a-Boo" considered a developmental milestone?

8. Is my child's obsession with the song, "Happy Birthday To You" mean that she has musical talent?

7. Can I write down "nose-digging" as my child's hobby?

6. I wonder if grunting is considered as "expanded vocabulary"?

5. Will they accept "Ewwww..." as, "I have to use the bathroom"?

4. Is okay if my child can only correctly identify her colors with the use of M&Ms?

3. Cry. Stop. Cry. Stop. Cry. Stop. Signs of resiliency?

2. Do they consider, "Because I said so" an effective form of communication?

1. Is neurosis hereditary?

Happy Slicing! :)

A SOLSC Miracle!

It's been a while... August of 2012 to be exact. But of course, it would be none other than the Slice Of Life March Challenge to bring me back from the dead, (hopefully I am not a zombie). If I had a nickel for every time I came up with a reason to not blog, I'd be retired. All my excuses worked until February started to fade away and the scents of spring began to arrive as March rolled in. Email after email filled my inbox; notifications of new posts from my favorite writers, but these weren't just their regular daily posts, they were official SOLSC posts. I couldn't ignore it, no matter how hard I tried. March 1..... March 2..... I wrote in my notebook, but did not, would not log in to my computer. And here we have arrived on March 3. A beautiful Sunday, and now I can't even keep my fingers from typing! My brain is spitting out ideas left and right, while my fingertips try their best to keep in tune with my overflow of thoughts.

I figure two days late is better than 31 days late, so here I am. The following is what I scribbled down in my notebook when I was thinking about my new experiences with co-teaching. A subject that I have a lot to say and ask about! Happy Slicing, Slicers!
___________________________________________________________________________

you plus me, and them

equals three

but two of us together

engaging

taming

conquering "them"

there is so much sense to it

with you

and me

we meet

we plan

till we drain our brains

but wait!

there's more

ideas tucked away

waiting to be shared.

you teach

than I'll teach

try mine

and I'll try yours

two into one

so the third will succeed

co-teach

side-by-side

no better place to be.

SOLSC Found Poem

In honor of our final day of the SOLSC, I decided to create a Found poem using titles of some special slices from our writing community. See you on Tuesday :)

Always looking, and always finding those little moments of joy                       

Things that make me smile                                                                                   

Home                                                                                                                      

Student slices!                                                                                                         

Family reading night                                                                                      

Standing up and rocking out

Forsythia in bloom

Sleep
gift
Yellow roses
Family sunsets
Double stuff oreos
The wonder of words
Breathing
Confidence
This new journey in writing
I say goodbye... for now                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Dim Sum, anyone?

I love the hustle and bustle of a Chinese restaurant. Especially during the dim sum service. I enter the restaurant, which always has some type of generic, yet to the point name such as Legend, Happy Day, Golden Duck, Nice Day, Little Village, the list goes on. Quickly seated, I pour my hot tea into my miniature tea cup and already begin to prep my not-so-porcelain dish with hot mustard and soy sauce. I look around and wait as patiently as I can for one of the dim sum carts to roll its way over to my table. There are three carts today. The furthest one from my table is a "fryer on the go" type of contraption. This cart offers turnip cakes, potstickers, and one of my favorites - shrimp look fun. I will have to wait because this cart is on the opposite side of the room. The second cart is currently serving a party of four who look like two generations of Chinese-American men. This cart contains popular custard desserts, steamed buns with meat inside of them, fried taro, and spring rolls. The only thing I desire from that cart is the custard bao. A soft, doughy bread injected with a sweet light custard and an almond cookie crust on top. This will be my dessert, so I am sure to save a little bit of room for this magnificent pastry. The final cart finally arrives beside my table. This cart is the most familiar-looking cart to lovers of dim sum. A large, cumbersome silver cart with circular bamboo containers stacked seven-high, holding piping hot Chinese delicacies waiting to be devoured. I already know which dim sum dishes I will ask for even though I know the waitress will present just about every one to me, as I say no to many because I am a creature of habit.

To me, Chinese restaurants have so much character. It is a fast-paced atmosphere and the waitresses are not very friendly, to say the least. But, once in a while there will be one waitress who smiles and treats you as if they do care that you return to the establishment. The waitresses wear nametags with American names like Helen, Janet, and Tina. I wonder why those are always the names they choose. Polite service is not something I would equate with the waitresses. As I order, they look at the other tables planning which table they will attack next, but they never get my order wrong, so I can't complain. I admire the "to the point" attitude type of service from these petite waitresses because I am not a fan of overly nice, especially when it isn't real. I'd recommend you to skip the Chinese restaurant if you want to be attended to as if you are the only customer in the restaurant. I love the loud noises of conversation coming from each table and watching the hands in the air, calling over the dim sum carts. It is a diverse place with native Chinese speakers, Americans, and tourists visiting from all over. The family-style food service is special because everyone on your table shares the food rather than ordering for yourself. A true family moment.

I am stuffed to the gills and ready for my check. But as usual, I am unsure of who my waitress was because there were so many visiting my table. I decide to take the slip of paper with all of my dim sum orders to the cashier where she too, quickly adds up my total and says, "xie, xie." And I reply, "see you next week!"  

My first time...

No, not THAT first time! My first time as a SOLSC writer. :)
I was going to save my reflection on this experience for the final day, but my brain has been bubbling over with ideas, and I didn't want to wait and risk losing a single one.

When I began the challenge, I thought that it would just be something fun for me to take on and a great reason to finally start a blog. Little did I know that this experience would be a very powerful one for me. I've always loved writing and did quite a bit of it throughout my life, but as soon as I graduated from college, I veered away from it for no particular reason. Then when I went back to school for my masters degree, all I did was write. Unfortunately, the writing was all research-based, so there was little room for creativity. I think I was definitely burnt out after I completed my masters degree. Then along came my interest in blogging and the ambition to make blogging a part of my writing classroom. I randomly found the two writing teachers blog and began reading Tuesday's SOLC. Next thing I knew, the month of March was about to arrive and information about the SOLSC was popping up everywhere. That is when I made the decision to finally publish a blog and start writing again on a consistent basis. Since March 1, I've never looked back.

This experience has been very meaningful to me. Not only has it motivated me to start writing again, but I feel like my brain has been tuned to a different station, a station that is much more interesting and involved. Sure, I write all the time to model it for my students, but that writing isn't for me. This is. Being able to share my thoughts and ideas on all types of subjects and then putting it out there for all to read has been very satisfying. Of course my insecurities exist regarding how and what I write about, but even my more superficial posts are a way to express myself through writing. There isn't really a rhyme or reason to my blog, but more to just let ideas flow from my brain, to my heart, down the arm, into the hands, and out through my fingertips.

The SOLSC has also given me back some of my "me" time. As a new mom, I am learning how to balance my various responsibilities, but still reserve a small amount of time each day for myself. Writing has become a gift. Commenting on other writers' posts has enabled me to meet new people, see commonalities and differences between myself and others. Reading a slice and then commenting on it, knowing that the writer is going to appreciate my comment, has taught me that everyone needs some type of encouragement and recognition, and by reading and commenting on other slices, it is a way to appreciate someone you have never met before. The SOLSC brings people of all different ages, men and women together in an attempt to keep the writing community closely knit. I believe that my writing progresses each and every day, which will likely benefit my students. So, thank you Ruth and Stacey and to the whole SOLSC community for a job well done and for helping me find the writer within me once again.

And if you are ever visiting Honolulu, you'll know where to find me at. The Chockboard.

The Fault in Our Stars

I am currently reading John Green's The Fault in Our Stars for the second time. Usually I won't read a book twice, back to back, I give it some time and then reread it; however, my first time around was filled with distractions, so I found myself only able to read a couple of pages at a time and that wouldn't suffice. I owe one of my favorite authors much more than that!

The title itself is beautiful and the story is meaningful, heartwrenching, and humorous in the perfect places. I have a few chapters left, but I had to take a break. The story becomes much more intense during the final third of the book (my opinion, of course), and my heart literally aches when I read this amazing novel. It isn't a very long book, but John Green is able to create two extremely likable characters and their story, along with their struggles, finds a place in your heart. The dry humor and witty lines are classic John Green, and I just can't get enough.

The break that I am taking from reading the final chapters is not long; I plan on finishing before bed this evening, but I needed some time to catch my breath and think about the two characters who bring this story to life. I love John Green's award-winning Looking For Alaska, but The Fault in Our Stars is my favorite by far. Remember to live your best life today... and part of that would be to read this novel.

Easy as A to Z

Writing challenges. Yes, writing challenges me. But, writing challenges challenge me even more and that is what I love about them! This is my first SOLSC, and I am officially addicted. I like the way that participating in SOLSC motivates (forces) me to write every single day. Even if I am late in posting, I make sure that I include it with the next day's slice. I am indebted to Ruth & Stacey and the SOLS community for helping me exercise my writing muscles. I've already decided that I will continue to participate in SOLS Tuesdays after the official March challenge culminates.

What will I do once March 31 turns the corner? Instead of feeling sad that the challenge has ended, I have embraced a new writing challenge that I am excitedly anticipating. It is the Blogging from A to Z Challenge for April 2012! I am sure many of you already participate in it, but if you have never heard about it, then read on!

The Blogging from A to Z Challenge asks each of its participants to write a post for 26 days straight. Each day's writing piece should center around the corresponding letter of the alphabet. For instance, on the first day of the challenge, Sunday, April 1, my post will focus on something related to the letter "A." Hmm... maybe I could write about apples or anxiety, or maybe a poem about armor from the middle ages! The next day's blog, April 2, will center around the letter "B." Babies, boisterous students, backhanded compliments, Boron, beer, Bolivian adventures... the list goes on! You can even come up with a theme that each of your 26 posts will concentrate on. You get the picture?!? Remember though, Sundays are days off, so the only Sunday you need to post on is on April Fools' Day... no fooling! To learn more or sign-up, go here:




Commenting is super important, too! Remember that the blog-o-sphere relies on the sharing and caring of people's ideas. This challenge is a great way to exercise your writing muscles and help build your blogging community. There are already over 1,000 participants, so go and check it out now :) Writing muscles, I hope you are ready for a workout!

Deep breath.

Monday. The first official day of my spring break. Lord knows how long I've yearned for this week; it has been a challenging school year to say the least. The week of spring break is definitely was of the perks of being a teacher. Granted, I have to catch up on reading essays, entering grades and comments for report cards due next week, but at least I do not need to wake up and be productive right away. It was a nice start this morning, waking up to my daughter's call around six and successfully convincing her to go back to sleep for a few more hours as I lay her in bed between me and my husband. When we finally woke up again, it was time to brew the coffee. The scent of freshly brewed coffee always lifts my spirits. I was embarrassed to admit this before, but now I've embraced the notion that coffee is my culture. As I carefully sipped the cup of Kona coffee, I listened to the loud roar of the lawnmower coming from next door. The sound is obnoxious, but the scent of freshly cut grass makes up for it. I love the scent almost as much as I love the smell of an approaching rain. It was the perfect setting to power on the laptop and start slicing. What a wonderful way to begin my spring break. Deep breath.

Where are you headed?

It's late as I drive home in the pitch black night with only the dim street lights guiding my way. There are a throng of vehicles on the road, but it is Sunday night and tomorrow is a state holiday in Hawaii, so many of us have taken advantage of this. As I accelerate to 65 mph, wanting to go faster, I casually take note of the cars around me. I wonder where their drivers are coming from and if they are capable to drive at this late hour. There is a black, sporty Honda in front of me with its left taillight out. I wonder if the Honda's owner knows this. We are both in the middle lane with cars on both sides of us. The Honda suddenly puts its right signal light on smoothly glides into the right lane. I wonder where the dark Honda is coming from and where it is headed as the moonlight gleams off of its hood. 

I continue to drive and see that I have three more miles to go before I arrive home. Since the white Honda has changed lanes, he is out of my sight and next up is a large burgundy truck with six people sitting in the bed. I always worry about people sitting in the back of trucks at this time of night. People tend to be tired, drunk, or careless on the road. As my car lunges forward a little more, I see that the people in the back of truck are young, likely teenagers. Better yet, one of the males looks like he has a tuxedo on. It reminds me that it is prom season and these kids are hopefully headed home. I begin to reminisce about my own rides home from prom and wonder if these kids will be home by their curfew or be grounded again. Prom was one of my best high school memories. Getting dressed up, dancing like crazy, and spending time with friends as your school year begins to culminate. 

My exit is right ahead. I put my right signal on and double-check, triple-check my blindspots before I veer to the right. Only a few more minutes until I reach my long awaited destination. Heading home is always a great feeling. As I pull into my garage, I wonder where all the cars still out on the highway are coming from and headed to. Strangers in the night. Where are you headed?

Weak Writing Muscles

Amen! Kudos to Ruth and Stacey for posting Jane Yolen's quote about exercising the writing muscle. I am currently experiencing an uneventful Saturday. Don't get me wrong, I am content with a weekend day that will not require another weekend to recover. On the downside though, an uneventful day doesn't exactly fill my mind with things to write about, and I always feel some level of pressure to create a slice that will entice at least a few readers. Anyway, back to my point. Jane Yolen's words of wisdom allowed me to relax and not worry so much that I do not have something incredibly interesting to write about. Sometimes, writing about not having anything to write about is still a way to exercise my writing muscles! (My students do it all the time.) I'll be sure to add some intensity to my writing workout tomorrow.

And now I will show you a picture of my little offspring, Emalia. She's a bit upset at the moment because mommy won't let her attack the computer keys, so we'll take a photo instead!

Have a wonderful Saturday, Slicers!

Slippery When Wet

The first album I ever owned was Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet. It was released in 1986, and my parents gave me the cassette tape for a Christmas present. I was quite young when I was listening to Bon Jovi; much younger than most Bon Jovi fans at the time. I had two older sisters, so I listened to a lot of the music they were interested in. My friends probably had no idea who the heck Bon Jovi was. 

My favorite song was You Give Love A Bad Name, and I still know every single lyric by heart, 26 years later. I remember that Bon Jovi came to Honolulu for a concert, and my sister and cousin were lucky enough to go. My mom drove them to the concert, and of course I had to go along for the ride, wishing that  I could join them. I felt like I had a social disease because I was too young to go to the concert. As years passed by, I was never without love for Bon Jovi, and I was livin' on a prayer to see them live. They are a timeless rock band; even the TLC reality t.v. show, Deadliest Catch, uses the song Wanted Dead or Alive for its opener. Of course, I upgraded my cassette tape to a CD because I would never say goodbye to such a classic album. It is one of those albums that brings back memories when you listen to it and can make you go wild in the streets as you sing along. Finally, in 2010, Bon Jovi came back to Honolulu for a December concert. My husband and I were scheduled to catch a red-eye to San Francisco that same evening, but I didn't care. Bon Jovi, I'd die for you, so squeezing in a live concert prior to hopping on a plane was well worth it! We had to make sure we would make our flight, so my parents dropped us off at the concert and then picked us up and drove straight to the airport. They were excited that I finally had the opportunity to see Bon Jovi live and told us, "raise your hands and have fun!" I felt like I was in high school... especially with my mother and father driving us. We let it rock and had an amazing time. I still have the video I recorded of Bon Jovi performing my favorite song, and if you listen closely, you can hear me singing completely out of tune. 

The original You Give Love A Bad Name music video. Enjoy!

the Nurturing of Friendships

I missed the deadline to post my slice for today (03/22), again! That's okay though, I still want to write a 22nd slice. Wow! 22 slices! Please don't tell my seventh graders that I missed another deadline; I expect much more from them!




Anyway, back to the business at hand. Yesterday, Julie @ Sun Sand Stone wrote a powerful slice about a personal struggle of hers. It touched me deeply, and it seems as if it brought similar emotions out of many of the SOLSC writers.
Today, I was thinking about Julie's slice again.

Friendships are so important to the human heart and spirit. Many of us have friendships with people, but how many of us have friendships that we can count on every single day. Genuine? Honest? Loyal? We may consider our spouses, significant others, siblings, or even a parent as our closest friend, but what about someone outside of that realm?

As I reflected, I thought about how women tend to lose touch with their girlfriends (or male friends), once they are in a relationship or are married. It seems like the easiest thing to do. Focus your time, attention, and devote yourself to that other person, other than your friends. I continue to ponder why this is the case. I think women "keep" their friendships, but they do not nurture them. They stop spending time, talking on the phone, sharing quality time with those friends who have impacted their lives. We are the first ones to let the friendships we worked so hard to build slip away when we become involved in a new relationship. I have heard or read somewhere... too bad I can't remember... that a woman's health depends on the friendships she has with other women.

How do you nurture your friendships? or Why haven't you nurtured your friendships?

The TBR Shelf

I borrowed this idea from Penguin Australia's Between the Lines blog. Thanks, Penguin au!


1. What's new on your Shelf?

       













2. What have you just finished on The Shelf?

Already re-reading it! Augustus Waters reminds me of someone I know.










3. What book are you most desperate this week to get on The Shelf?

Okay, now it's your turn to share your To Be Read Shelf. 
Happy Slicing!

Spine Poetry Obsession

I am officially obsessed with Book Spine Poetry. It is like a magical treasure hunt! 
Here are my first three treasures...

Numero uno:

 Numero dos:

 Numero tres (my personal favorite):

Check it out at: 100 Scope Notes

Remember, APRIL is NATIONAL POETRY MONTH!

Emalia

Daughter
I breathed you in
the moment you were released
into the world to make your mark
to question
to love
to empathize
to lead
to be yourself

Daughter
your bright spirit
gives me new life
day in
day out
my purpose redefined
to strengthen your wings
so you can fly
Fly!

Daughter
a reminding smile
of innocence
of peace
of a better place
a heart so pure
so soft
so real
so vibrant

Daughter
the beat of my heart
time quickly passing by
priceless moments
left to reminisce
my memory holds strong
like my arms around you
slow down
I need
to fully embrace you

Sharing

Writing has the ability to reveal so much about a person. Whether it is a personal journal entry, a hilarious short story, the perfect poem, an endearing novel, or an informal letter to a friend, writing has the potential to open the door for people to discover more about you. I guess I always knew this, but today I was thinking more about sharing my writing with others. I came to the realization that I have not shared my writing with people that I am close to. Family, friends, or colleagues. On the flip side, I am so elated and eager to share my slices of life with the SOL community. Hmm... I continue to ponder...

Virtually, the entire SOL community is made up of complete strangers. People who know nothing about me, yet I feel quite comfortable publishing my ideas, thoughts, and concerns for them. Yes, I do feel vulnerable in front of the SOL community (see Slice #12), but I am not apprehensive to let them read AND comment on my writing slices. Sharing my blog with those embedded in my life is a different story though. Do I let them in to my daily personal thoughts or my spare of the moment ideas? The only person outside of the SOL community who knows about the existence of my blog is my husband, and he doesn't even read it! I definitely share my writing with my students, but that is because I want them to see that I am a writer too, so they can find confidence in stretching themselves and discovering the writer within. Yet, I still struggle to understand why I am so apprehensive to write for an audience who knows me well and is a constant presence in my every day life.

As I continue to reflect on this, I ask myself if my writing sometimes has the tendency to reveal a different side of me. It has only been fifteen days of continuous writing, and I can already see and feel a transition in my writing process. For a person who has never kept a journal or diary in her entire life, I feel like these slices have taken on a life of their own. They have become my personal outlet. Allowing the thoughts in my brain to be released, not verbally, but through my fingertips onto the keyboard. A release. I am me; I am being myself, yet why do I still feel an anxiety to share with the prominent people in my life? Maybe once the SOLSC culminates, clarity will slither its way into my mind, and I will better understand why I keep much of my writing private from my loved ones.

A poem for Jackson

My one and only nephew is three months old today! He belongs to my sweet sister, Jenn and her dashing husband, John. My daughter is absolutely in love with him! Although these two cousins are only nine months apart, my daughter already wants to take care of him by snuggling up to him and attempting to give him some kisses. I am elated that they are close in age and will have the opportunity to grow up together and not only be cousins, but hopefully genuine friends. I have already reserved him to be my daughter's date to her high school prom! (Overbearing mother? Absolutely.) In honor of my nephew's first three months on planet Earth, I wrote him his first poem.

Jackson Luke Keoni Wells

and your amazingly kissable cheeks

We awaited your arrival

for more than forty weeks

Action Jackson

your superhero name

Just like Luke Skywalker 

of Star Wars fame

Big brown oculi

mesmerizing stare

skin soft and tender

a pigment so fair

Observing the world around you

with a toothless little grin

you have so much to offer

Where will you begin?

A family overwhelmed 

with happiness

since your very first coo 

Jackson Luke Keoni Wells

a name for only you.

Forgiveness

I just returned from Mass with my students, and they are with their math teacher now, so I decided to take a  quick break from correcting essays on the Civil Rights Movement to write today's slice. I teach at a co-ed, Catholic school with a student body of approximately one thousand students. Once every month, the entire school corrals into the gym for an all-school Mass. We are currently in the season of Lent (based on the Liturgical calendar), which is the time, according to Christians, when Jesus Christ was crucified and resurrected for the forgiveness of sins. Anyway, the priest's message focused on Forgiveness, which is a major theme during this church season and whether or not you are religious, Forgiveness is an important element in our human lives.

Majority of the time it is pretty simple for us to say, "Thank you," when we receive a kind gesture or a gift. Most people are also fairly comfortable with telling their loved ones, "I love you." But, saying "I am sorry," or "I forgive you," can be quite challenging for most of us. Asking for forgiveness for matters of the heart requires us to show humility and let go of our pride. It is difficult for me because I am admitting that I am wrong and caused someone else to hurt. I think you need to be truly ready to ask for forgiveness from someone because it is not about just saying "I'm sorry," but it requires a change in behavior in order to demonstrate that your apology was genuine.

Being able to forgive someone for causing you to hurt, is equally challenging. For me, being able to forgive someone is having the ability to forget the hurt they caused you, as well. I have always believed that although granting forgiveness is tough, forgetting is even tougher. Some forgive, but don't forget. I am not sure if this is a true sign of forgiveness? However, holding on to something that affected us IS human nature. But why forgive, if one cannot forget?

I think back to things I have done that hurt others. To those who I asked forgiveness from, have they truly forgiven me?  I also think back to things people have done to me to cause hurt. Although I said that I forgave them, did I mean it? Was I able to let go and move forward?

Forgiveness is a complicated thing; however, I think that allowing forgiveness to become a common part of your life can make each of us stronger and capable of love.

Writing fool

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself."

- Anne Rice

As soon as I read the nugget of inspiration that Ruth posted for Slice 12, I knew what I was going to write about. Thank you, Ruth!

This is my first SOLC, in fact, this in my first time participating in any SOL. For the past year, I have read people's slices, but never took the risk myself. Until this March. Anne Rice's quote resonates with me because I am quite timid when it comes to writing my daily slice and clicking on "Post." My writing talent pretty much exists in the research paper writing genre, and I could cite using APA format with my eyes closed (without a citation generator, of course!). But when it comes to creative writing or writing about my daily life experiences, I am very intimidated.

I consider myself quite the amateur writer. Yes, I am an English teacher. Yes, I share my writing with my students. And yes, I can write emails like a madwoman; however, sharing my daily thoughts, ideas, and random musing with the SOL community is a whole new adventure. Here are the things I think too much about prior to clicking on "Post." 

1. Will people be interested in my writing pieces?
2. Are there sounds of laughter (not the good kind) filling cyberspace as bloggers read my posts?
3. Did I write, phrase, spell, or say that properly?

So I sit here typing (and typing very quickly might I add), sharing without timidity or fear of what others may think about my writing because all that really matters is that I am participating, giving it my best, and sharing as I develop as a writer. 

Happy Monday!