Missing pieces

Missing pieces make up my life. Sounds defeatist, but it isn't. For instance, a two-year sabbatical from documenting my thoughts here is a missing piece in my life. I refer to it as a sabbatical, so I can convince myself that it is okay to not write for so long; I was collecting data, life data.

Another missing piece of my life is being at work while my daughter is at preschool. Nine hours of separation, for good reason, but still a missing piece.

103 students. They are all present, but let's get real. There are missing pieces in their learning, so that means another missing piece is added to my life.

As I take a step back and reflect on some of these missing pieces, it becomes apparent that I can't do everything and I can't be everywhere, but I can only be myself and do things with intention. Missing pieces aren't necessarily bad, and they can always be found. For instance, I'm writing now. I've continued to write even during my "sabbatical," just not really the things I wanted to write. But, here I am now.

Those nine hours away from my daughter helps her build resiliency, independence, and gives her an amazing opportunity to learn, socialize, and discover.

I casually observe my students and now that the second semester has begun, those missing pieces of their learning are being filled in as they unknowingly apply their skills to create new knowledge.

Missing pieces are not lost
In time they will be found
Be patient with yourself
and the puzzle will be solved.

The Restaurant

Summer is one of my favorite times to teach. Yes, I enjoy teaching summer school. Granted, when the first day of summer school arrives only two weeks after the school year has culminated, I always ask myself, "What was I thinking?!" But once the six-week summer program begins, I am quickly reminded how many opportunities teaching summer school presents.

The opportunities that summer school creates are the ones that I wish for throughout the regular school year. Longer class periods, manageable class sizes, relaxed students, and few "do or die" standards makes the experience enjoyable and worthwhile. I use summer school as my avenue to experiment with new lessons, innovative teaching strategies, and best of all, building relationships with students who I will eventually teach during the upcoming school year.

This summer, my colleague and I, who normally co-teach English/Social Studies during the school year, decided to combine forces again and teach a summer course called, The Restaurant. In a nutshell, the students learn both the cooking side and business side of the restaurant industry with a culminating project that has them opening up their own "restaurant," which is in competition with the restaurant their classmates' created. The winning restaurant is the one that makes the most profit from the "teacher-customers" who are invited to opening day of their restaurant.  My co-teacher focuses on food safety and nutrition, teaches the students cooking basics and kitchen safety. The section of the course that I focus on is the business side. We learn about the self-discipline and creativity that successful entrepreneurs have, as well as learning advertising strategies and writing a formal business plan.

With two weeks left in the summer school session, I am reminded that there are many creative ways to teach our students the skills that will help them succeed while still keeping them engaged. Summer school is a great opportunity for them to continue to learn in unique ways that keep the excitement of summer alive... for both students and teachers.

Baked Salmon, Week 2

Chocolate Chip Cookies, Week 3

Beginning to reflect...

The school year is quickly winding down and my first year at a new school is just about complete. As I reflect on the new journey I began in August, I am overwhelmed with things to write about. Fresh challenges arrived as I became acclimated to an environment with new students, parents, families, and colleagues. Some of you who read my past posts were excited to read about my new teaching environment and the adventures in co-teaching that I experienced this school year, but I did not make the time to sit, blog, and share.

When I came on board in August, a brand-new middle school campus was just completed. The new challenge I faced came in the form of a building. The biggest challenge for all was the new open-learning environment where the only walls that were built were the ones to protect us from mother nature. And although it was a slow start, it helped that all of the middle school teachers and students were in the same boat as I was, experiencing a new working environment.

As a new hire to a school with a strong reputation here in Hawaii, I was willing to be as flexible and innovative as I had to because I felt so blessed to have been hired. But to veteran teachers at the school, the open-learning environment quickly made people's anxieties transparent. Fears of being judged by their peers, loss of personal classroom space, and the mega-list of unanswered questions regarding how will it affect our students' learning were only a few of the barriers that made many of my colleagues feel overwhelmed and vulnerable. I understood why people were feeling this way; change is difficult. But it was more than "change" that was needed. It was a mind shift. A change in the way we think as educators. A complete 180 degree flip to our firmly-cemented teaching philosophies.

It was a rough start for many, but the amazing part about that rough start is people are beginning to make the mind-shift in order to embrace and make the most of our open-learning environment. Building capacity in others, sharing ideas, co-teaching, flexible grouping and scheduling all needed to take the front seat in order to help our students succeed. We are always telling our students that learning never ends and as teachers, we experienced this first-hand.

Consumed.

I watch you come and go
wondering what's on your mind
a quick glance to see if it's me

Heart strings pulled
like a master puppeteer
I jump, I fly, I'd say goodbye

My mind is consumed
interference
that's you

Wrong time
wrong place
but I need more

A growing addiction
no doc can cure
the remedy I already know

Thoughts, ideas
circulate around you
permanence, no matter what I do

One second
two minutes
three hours, too much

A yearning so deep
felt in my chest
and everywhere else

I'll continue on
facing the truth
of reality.

The Preschool App.

Your first kiss. The passing of a loved one. Leaving home for college. Committing to marriage. Giving birth. These are some of the things that I consider "life-changing" moments. Moments that are not only life-changing, but are also generators of immense stress. WRONG! There is no event in your life that can compare to the stress of filling out your (first-born) child's preschool application... especially when you are a teacher! Here are the top 10 list of questions running through my mind as I fill out the piece of paper that could potentially determine whether my child is headed to Harvard or The Hills...

10. Do I describe my child's personality as "fun-loving" or "fun-loving as long as there is a nap involved"?

9. Is "Peek-a-Boo" considered a developmental milestone?

8. Is my child's obsession with the song, "Happy Birthday To You" mean that she has musical talent?

7. Can I write down "nose-digging" as my child's hobby?

6. I wonder if grunting is considered as "expanded vocabulary"?

5. Will they accept "Ewwww..." as, "I have to use the bathroom"?

4. Is okay if my child can only correctly identify her colors with the use of M&Ms?

3. Cry. Stop. Cry. Stop. Cry. Stop. Signs of resiliency?

2. Do they consider, "Because I said so" an effective form of communication?

1. Is neurosis hereditary?

Happy Slicing! :)

A SOLSC Miracle!

It's been a while... August of 2012 to be exact. But of course, it would be none other than the Slice Of Life March Challenge to bring me back from the dead, (hopefully I am not a zombie). If I had a nickel for every time I came up with a reason to not blog, I'd be retired. All my excuses worked until February started to fade away and the scents of spring began to arrive as March rolled in. Email after email filled my inbox; notifications of new posts from my favorite writers, but these weren't just their regular daily posts, they were official SOLSC posts. I couldn't ignore it, no matter how hard I tried. March 1..... March 2..... I wrote in my notebook, but did not, would not log in to my computer. And here we have arrived on March 3. A beautiful Sunday, and now I can't even keep my fingers from typing! My brain is spitting out ideas left and right, while my fingertips try their best to keep in tune with my overflow of thoughts.

I figure two days late is better than 31 days late, so here I am. The following is what I scribbled down in my notebook when I was thinking about my new experiences with co-teaching. A subject that I have a lot to say and ask about! Happy Slicing, Slicers!
___________________________________________________________________________

you plus me, and them

equals three

but two of us together

engaging

taming

conquering "them"

there is so much sense to it

with you

and me

we meet

we plan

till we drain our brains

but wait!

there's more

ideas tucked away

waiting to be shared.

you teach

than I'll teach

try mine

and I'll try yours

two into one

so the third will succeed

co-teach

side-by-side

no better place to be.

Avoidance issues

Itʻs been a while... a very long while. Avoidance is probably the best word to describe my "writing" absence lately. I say "writing" absence because Iʻve continued to follow my favorite blogs, but unfortunately have not commented or updated my own. Upon the culmination of last school year, I was exhausted, to say the least. Burnt out, annoyed, frustrated, and non-motivated would be some of the adjectives I was feeling. Honestly, writing was the last thing I wanted to do. But, as the summer quickly came to its end, I packed up the last of my belongings in my former classroom and dove head-first into the deep unknown and began teaching at another school. I needed a new challenge, to refresh and renew; a place that motivated me to work harder each and every single day for my students. That place has been found, and I am truly in my element. The school that I now teach at has a brand-spanking new middle school building. Not only is everything amazingly new, but the space is an open learning space. Yup. No walls. Team teaching like you've never imagined.

My goal is get back on the horse and blog it up once again! Striving to catch up with those I haven't left comments for, return to SOL Tuesdays, and blog about my new adventures in my "wall-less" classroom (which I love, btw).

Ahh... deep breath, exhale. It feels so satisfying to be writing again.

Until tomorrow...

I love a great notebook!

As I meandered through the school supply aisles at my favorite big-chain store, my eyes suddenly shifted to the rack of notebooks below as if they were magnets and "Eureka!" there it was. A fine young notebook with a stack of cassette tapes pictured on its cover! (If you read my post from a day before here, you will understand my odd excitement).

Hello, new writer's notebook!

Best of...

I met with my new colleagues today to begin planning out the start of the new school year. We begin school on August 7, and I am really looking forward to this new journey in my life. Before we began to get into the nitty-gritty things, we shared some information about our names with one another and our teaching philosophies. Personally, I really abhor sharing my teaching philosophy. There always seems to be this pressure to articulate it perfectly and I find it more to be like a "working document," always being modified based on my teaching experiences. Anyway, I was lucky that today's sharing time wasn't as awkward as I thought it was going to be; in fact, something that one of my colleagues said really caught my attention, and I really want to remember what he said. He briefly explained to us his personal teaching philosophy, and then began to share his thinking process with us. He explained that when he teaches, he thinks about the teachers who impacted his life and how they taught him. He described his teaching as a mixed tape, taking the "best of" and incorporating it into his own teaching style.

I love the idea of taking the "best of." If we take the time to stop and reflect, we can discover that there are so many influential teachers in our lives. So I did exactly that.

My "Best of"

2nd grade, Miss Campos who gave me the brightest smile every single morning. She made me feel as if she was the lucky one to have me in her class.

4th grade, Mrs. Liu who was creative and dynamic. She set high expectations for her students and guided us to success. We also performed some really hilarious plays in her class!

5th grade, Mrs. Underkofler who chose great class novels -- A Wrinkle In Time; From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler; The Indian in the Cupboard

7th grade, Ms. Arce always listened to what I had to say and made faith important in my life.

8th grade, Mrs. Adair who first introduced me to the wonders of learning History. I loved how she was willing to mark up our classroom maps, so we could see how the Union soldiers advanced on the Confederate Army.

High School English, Mrs. Morey helped build my confidence when it came to reading and writing. She also had a knack for putting me in my place when my "I know everything attitude" became a bit much.

High School English, Mrs. Crawford who introduced me to Mr. William Shakespeare. 'Nuff said.

High School American History, Mr. Kaufmann who told me that my charm would take me far, but working hard in school would take me even further. He sat and lectured, but his knowledge of American History made him an amazing storyteller.

College History Professor, Dr. Pierre Asselin who I am truly indebted to forever. Dr. Asselin fueled my passion for learning about the world.

College Professor, Mr. Richard Rapson believed in me and took the time to talk to me about my future and encouraged me to push myself toward greater things. A good listener, mentor, and friend.

Maybe one day I can be on someone's "Best of" list.

A few more minutes

"Ra-ta-ta-tat," say the blinds

as they take their turn allowing the light in

A new day takes shape

as she lifts her arms

and stretches

Awakened with eyelids closed

Fresh air circulates the room 

while the scent 

of an approaching rain
tickles her nose

She cuddles onto her side

Fingers intertwined

Legs pulled in to warm her chest

Amazing things are up ahead,

But what's a few more minutes?

Summer at dusk

cotton candy clouds
with dashes of lavender
orange zest and golden rod
the sun beams as it makes
its final debut for the day

the sky lightly darkens
and I can't decide
if the light is easy
on my eyes
or if I'm squinting
because of it

a cool breeze
tickles my face
placing my hair
behind my ears
I am relieved the tradewinds
have returned

our walk ensues
summer at dusk
unwinding as you
gently nudge her stroller
while I cool down my pace
"slow down," you say
so I take a deep breath
slowing exhaling
a reminder to take it
all in

what did I do
in my past life
to deserve such
beauty
summer at dusk.

Summer + Dads

I am disappointed in myself that my last post was on June 5, but I guess it shows how much fun I have been having so far this summer. It has been a busy couple of weeks with friends in town, family get-togethers, sleeping in, lots of beach time, staycations and more! It has been an amazing summer so far and the rest of it looks even brighter.

Although it is summer, I think I need to set some goals for the remainder of break.

1. Read at least five more books... hurry up and finish Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why

2. Post pics from my "work-vacation" on blog

3. Brainstorm some new writing lessons for the upcoming school year

4. Exercise

5. Clean the bathrooms!

Yes, this is quite a general list of goals. No solid deadlines. No pressure. Relax. It's summer.

:)

AND... HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all who care for children... 

you are priceless.

My husband and daughter playing Konane, an ancient Hawaiian game similar to Checkers.

A Working Vacation

I am currently participating in a "tri-campus planning session" this week. It actually began yesterday and will conclude tomorrow. The new school that I will be teaching at has a campus on three different islands; Oahu, Big Island, and Maui. The school has brought together all of the English teachers from the three campuses to collaborate and work on developing writing rubrics that will be consistent across the board. Besides working, we will also be partaking in cultural practices and enjoying the outdoors.
It does seem as if I just finished with my school year, and I am getting right back into it again; however, I am very excited to meet my new colleagues and to collaborate with them.

My husband and daughter are here as well with a good family friend of ours, but I won't see them until Wednesday evening. It is the first time I am spending three nights without my daughter! Can we say anxiety? She's just fine, it is her mommy who is overwhelmed! I am looking forward to spending the second-half of the week with them. Things have been hectic lately, so it will be nice to give my family my undivided attention.

Okay, Slicers. Have a wonderful writing Tuesday, and I'll see y'all next week with some pics from our pseudo-vacation and ideas from the work sessions. 

It's not goodbye...

Today is my final day teaching at a wonderful school. As I venture on to new challenges at another school, this is the letter I wrote to the faculty and staff.


Hello, Maryknoll family.

Today is my final day here. It is bittersweet to have an opportunity to start a new journey, but at the same time have to leave the place that helped shape who you've become and what you believe in. That is how I have been feeling this past week. The friendships that were built throughout my six years here will always be ones that I will treasure. I thought that the students would be the number one thing I would miss, but I've come to the realization that it will be the people I worked beside and those who have mentored me -- Admin, Faculty, and Staff. Saying hello to people in the work room and in passing was always important to me because I wanted to get to know everyone. There are so many special memories! 

One memory that resonates with me is when I was pregnant with Emalia and the outpouring of support and generosity throughout that time period, as well as the amazing baby shower that we had! That is my favorite part about being at this school; the love and sense of community that exists. I will take those values along with me and make sure that people know I am from Maryknoll. 

I have been given endless opportunities during my time here, and I hope that you will keep in touch with me. I'll send pictures of Emalia growing up, and hopefully in her school uniform...although now I will be paying tuition! :) My family and I thank you for everything, and I wish each and every one of you the best as we all continue on our own personal journeys. 

It certainly is not goodbye...just a "see you soon!"

Me ke aloha,

Mandy

Born to Learn

 "Adolescence is not a problem; it's an opportunity."


Take some time for Born to Learn

Rethinking yesterday's post

After finding out some disheartening news this morning, I realized that my recent ramblings about the amount of work I have to complete before the culmination of the school year is just plain selfish. I was told this morning that my former student, who is now in 11th grade, has been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma cancer. His sister is currently in my class, and we spent some time talking about the situation. She said that she feels like the whole world is on her shoulders. This is a big statement coming from her because she is a student who radiates confidence, but on the inside is very reflective. Things have literally changed overnight for her, her brother, and their mother. She explained to me that her brother is scared regarding his upcoming radiation and chemotherapy treatment. I stood there and listened intently as my heart and eyes teared up. I understand some of the emotions and confusion that this young girl is feeling; my mother is currently receiving chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer. However, I am at a loss for understanding how my former student feels as he is about to take on the biggest challenge of his life, or how his thirteen year old sister feels as her mind seems to wander off into the frightening abyss of the unknown. Unable to grasp their mother's feelings, I can only empathize with her; a single-parent who just last week was concerned with motivating her kids to complete their homework has now shifted her focus on the health of her son and being able to give the right attention to her daughter at the same time.

Today was another reminder for me that my small struggles are exactly that. Small. Get it done, quit brooding, and spend time on things that truly matter. Make today your best day.

Missing: Motivation

If I could buy some motivation, I'd be willing to pay a pretty hefty price. It is amazing, in a not-so-amazing way, how unmotivated I've been feeling over the past couple of weeks. My motivation tank is on "E" and there aren't any refueling stations to be found! Seriously.

We have two more weeks of school left before summer break officially starts, yet I still have so much to do. Having loads of work to accomplish isn't so good if you've misplaced your motivation. My desk looks like a hurricane blew through and FEMA is still nowhere to be found. I still have student papers to read, provide feedback, and grade before the quarter wraps up next week. My students' attention spans are shorter than my one-year old daughter's, so my patience meter has just about reached negative numbers; however, I must keep my cool and send my students off gleaming with positivity!

With summer quickly approaching, one would assume that a teacher's amount of work would subside, but that is a myth. I'll be heading to a different school in August, so my brain and heart are in conflict with one another. My brain says to start focusing on my next adventure, which means that I should be looking at curriculum maps, syllabi, and lessons I need to rework in order to make a smooth transition into my new team. My heart wants to hold on to the current school year my current students because I am already beginning to miss them terribly. I wish my brain and heart would desire the same thing, so they could work in collaboration with my body to: 1) Finish grades and report card comments; 2) Clean, purge, and pack up all that needs to go with me; and 3) Enjoy my final two weeks with the students I love at the school that will always have a place in my heart.

So, whoever is in charge of motivation out there in our big ol' universe, could you please send some my way? Hmm... why do I always have some motivation on reserve for blogging???

A love letter

Dear Summer,

I long for your immediate arrival. My students are driving me crazy, and I am eager to send them on their way. I can't stop reminiscing about your warm rays wrapped around my air-conditioned classroom freezing body, while your encouraging waves tickle my toes as I sit upon the heated sand, inhaling your fresh air. 

Looking at old photographs from last year's adventures with you makes me misty and homesick. Our bond is so special, we don't even have to travel anywhere; we can just stay home and enjoy one another's company for two and a half amazing months! Yes, I know that everything cannot be perfect, and I will still have to complete some work and plan for the upcoming Fall, but oh my, I do not mind working if I know that you will remain beside me, outside of my four-walled cave. 

We can do so many things together! I can see us shedding our pale skin together and embracing the UV rays as we catch up on our book stacks and read for pleasure. We can create new lesson plans together, ones that will tackle the old ones and bring joy to my students. We can articulate with the new middle school team I will be working with in the Fall, and overwhelm myself with fresh ideas and creative people. 

I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about you! It seems you are so close, yet so far away. When will you hurry my way? The hubby and daughter impatiently await your return as well. Please do not stay away any longer. My heart, brain, and sanity are lost without you.

Yours truly,

(Exhausted) Seventh grade Teacher

The Outsiders

The final class novel of the school year is S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders. My 7th graders anticipate this novel all year because they hear from the current 8th graders that it is an amazing book. My students get a kick out of knowing that their parents either read this book in school or saw the movie. I really enjoy reading this novel with my students because they find so much relevance to their own lives and the peer relationships that they are building. Although the story takes place in the sixties, the students are not put off by it and in fact, they gain interest in the decade. Because the students enjoy reading the book, they are very keen on picking up the various themes, characterization, and conflicts that exist within the plot. I wonder if this classic will ever be considered as outdated or unimportant to the American Canon of Literature... Or is it already outdated and we should be looking for new titles that focus on similar themes, but in more recent times? What do you think?

Indifference

Indifference was her name, I heard
and she couldn't
have cared
less.
Unconcerned for
what is
best.
No one saw her
pain and
stress.